If you want to be in the next one, let me know. IN A WORLD where magic roams, etc. one man will truly disrupt the peace. That man... IS KYR (Who is a Vampire)!
Act I: WTF just happened?Edit
-Detectives Justin and Jamie were investigating the scene of an apparent crime, and already it was turning out to be very different from the usual death-
Police Officer: Apparently it is a Mr. Rache Glock.
Detective Jamie: Do not worry about informing me. I have a 6th Sense for this stuff. Death Sense.
-Jamie walks over to Justin, who is looking over the body-
Jamie: What’s that on his neck?
Detective Justin: Looks like a scab. *Rips it off* Oh, that’s dried chocolate.
Jamie: Wait, what’s that other thing on his neck?
Justin: Hmmm… looks like bite marks. O_o
Jamie: I think I saw this once in a movie.
Friend 1: No! No, we are friends! Do not bite me! I will diee!
Friend 2: But I am a bloodthirsty maniac that wants to bite you.
Friend 1: You are a vampire?!
Friend 2: No, just a psychopath.
Jamie: Yep, definitely a movie. Hmm… Mr. Glock is wearing some nice boots.
Justin: Why yes, yes he is.
Jamie: >.> *Takes boots* <.< NO ONE SAY ANYTHING THIS IS EVIDENCE!
Police Officer: Why are you shouting?! Is everything okay?!
-Justin pulls out a shotgun and points it at a random civilian-
Justin: Sir! Sir, just calm down, sir! SIR!
Officer: Put that away!
Jamie: He will.
-Justin puts shotgun away-
Jamie: I told you he would.
-Meanwhile, on a nearby rooftop overlooking the shenanigans-
Count Akumla Zero: Blah ha h@! I am Russian and they vill nevar suspekt it iz me! Blah blah haha! *Count Akumla’s cape is flowing awesomely in the wind that isn’t there*
Act II: Back to the bootsEdit
-Back at the headquarters, Justin and Jamie are pondering over what they had seen at the crime scene. Jamie was wearing Glock’s boots by this time.-
Jamie: These are some NICE BOOTS. I could kill any ant and climb any mountain with these.
Justin: Now, why would there be bite marks on old Mr. Glock…?
Jamie: I bet I could store a secret knife in this. No one would even know. I feel like a Jedi.
Darth Later: *Breathing heavily, followed by lightsaber activating sound*
Jamie: It ends now! BVER BVERR BVER BVER *Epic custom lightsaber noises*
Jamie: I am back.
Justin: Where did you go?
Jamie: The past.
Detective Wane: HOLY CRAP THAT GUY JUST FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW!
-Jamie and Justin take the stairs down to the street level and rush outside, followed by several other detectives including Wane, who moonwalked outside-
Jamie: Hold on, let me get his ID. *Jamie pulls the man’s wallet out and checks the ID* A Mr. Rache Glock. Look, he has the same bite marks as the person that died in the last scene!
Justin: Could there be a connection?!
Jamie: Yeah man!
Justin: All of the clues will soon come together!
-Wane casually moonwalks over and observes the body after Justin and Jamie have finished-
Wane: *To himself* This has to be the work of a vampire*
-From a distant rooftop-
Count Akumla Zero: Hmmm… Someone iz onto me… *Puts on eye patch* Arrrrr, matey.
Act III: Where are my pants?Edit
-At the office-
Justin: Where are my pants?? You seen them?
Jamie: How did you forget your pants? I swear you’re on drugs.
Justin: I thought I had them… but maybe I forgot to put then on today… I have no idea.
-At the Wane Cave, known as WANE Scientists (We Are Not Eccentric Scientists)-
Wane: Hmmm… research tells me that Vampires can only be killed by a stake through the heart…
-Wane begins looking around for supplies-
Wane: A wooden blade will not be as good as a steel blade lined with wood… I will call it the Roflknife.
-Wane begins constructing the Roflknife immediately-
-Back at the office-
Jamie: Okay, I’ve managed to get us a meeting with someone who claims to know what the killings are a result of.
Jamie: Yarly. He’s a Mr. Rache Glock.
Justin: I feel like I’ve heard that name before…
Jamie: Me too. Déjà Vu is retarded. FUS… ROH DAHH!H!!!
-Justin goes flying into the wall-
Justin: What was that?!
Jamie: ROH DAHHH!!!!!
-Justin flies through the wall-
-Jamie appears through the hole in the wall-
Justin: I’M BEGGING YOU!!
Jamie: ROH DAHHHHHHHH!!!
-Justin flies out the window-
-Later on, Justin and Jamie arrive at Mr. Glock’s residence in England-
Justin: These betters have been worth the flight…
Jamie: These betters have?
Justin: Microsoft’s Auto-Correct is retarded, that’s why.
Jamie: EEE HEE HEE HEEE!
-Justin knocks on Mr. Glock’s door-
-Mr. Glock answers, wearing boots and a nice suit-
Jamie: Nice boots. I have the same ones!
Justin: Yes, very nice. O_O
Rache Glock: Please, come in. I wouldn’t want you to get your boots wet.
-Did I mention it’s raining in England when Justin and Jamie arrive?-
-Justin and Jamie enter Glock’s residence-
Justin: Nice st00f.
-Rache motions to a table, which is set out with cheerios-
Rache Glock: I thought it’d be rude if I did not give you two a bowl of cheerios while we discuss.
Jamie: Thanks mannn.
-Justin and Jamie sit down, as does Glock-
Justin: So Mr. Rache Glock, what do you know about the recent deaths in wherever we were before we were here?
Rache Glock: Please, call me R.Glock.
Justin: Okay R.Glock.
-R.Glock pulls out a small Ziploc bag full of cheerios and begins slowly eating them while talking-
R.Glock: Yes, right. I think that the killings are being done by no mortal man. In fact, I firmly believe it’s a vampire we are dealing with.
Jamie: Now I remember the movie I was thinking about in Act I…
-Friend 1 now closes the door behind Friend 2 in a desperate attempt to get away-
Friend 2: BY THE WAY *clawing at the door* I LIED! I AM A VAMPIRE, NOT A PSYCHOPATH!
Friend 1: Eat silver bullet, vampire I once called friend!
Friend 2: That’s Werewolves.
Friend 1: Oh.
-Friend 3 breaks in the window to the room where Friend 1 is-
Friend 3: I am a Werewolf!
-Friend 1 kills him-
Friend 3: How did you know? D: *Dies*
R.Glock: As I was saying *Places cheerios on the table* I have a strong feeling it’s Count Akumla Zero…
Justin: Count Akumla Zero?
R.Glock: Yes, Count Akumla Zero.
Justin: COUNT AKUMLA ZEROOO?????
Count Akumla: Oh, sorry. That was my cue. YES, IT IS I, COUNT AKUMLA, THAT HAS BEEN DOING THIS! Too bad none of you will live to tell the tale…
-R.Glock pulls out a Glock that fires wooden stakes-
R.Glock: STAKE TO THE HEART!
-Count Akumla springs into action, tackling R.Glock-
R.Glock: Run! I will hold him off as long as I can!
Jamie: Thank you, R. Glock!
-Jamie and Justin begin running out of the apartment-
Jamie: Oops, forgot my phone. *Runs back in*
-R.Glock is dead on the floor, with a note from Count Akumla-
-Jamie moves over to it and begins reading it-
Jamie: “Dear Jamie and Justin, I know your names. I know more about you guys than you think, because I have been watching you more closely than you have been watching me. For example, I know that Jamie is reading this right now.” *Jamie gasps* “I also know that Justin is about to scream ‘HURRY UP, JAMIE!’”
Justin: HURRY UP, JAMIE!
Jamie: *Gasps* “R.Glock is dead, and you have no idea how to stop me unless you think back to what he did before I killed him! BLAH HAHA HH@H@ #YOLO”
-Jamie walks outside-
Justin: What took you so long?
Jamie: I found a note… from Count Akumla… He knows more than we think!
Act IV: Ranthar PainEdit
-Wane is now working on hiring a Lead Researcher-
Wane: So, Wallcano, is it?
Volcano: Close enough.
Wane: Alright Wallcano, why do you want this job?
Volcano: Well, I feel that I’m highly qualified for whatever it is you are going to be doing.
Wane: Hmmm… I wonder what I am going to be doing…
Volcano: I thought you knew what you were doing? >_>
Wane: Nope. Just kinda making this up as I go along.
Wane: Anyway, you’re hired, my friend. *Shakes Volcano’s hand* Welcome!
Volcano: Alright! So, what do you need me to do first?
Wane: I need you to begin researching into Count Akumla Zero… I think he has a major role in the recent killings in the area.
Volcano: What will you are doing? >_>
Wane: What will you are?
Volcano: Microsoft’s Auto-Correct is retarded.
Wane: Ah. Anyway, I am going to be designing my Roflknife…
Volcano: Why? <_<
Wane: Kill vampires. Bring the pain!
Volcano: Oh. >_>
-A crash is heard outside-
Wane: What the?? Come on!
-Wane and Volcano rush outside, only to see a man wrestling with someone wearing a cape-
Volcano: I know him! That’s Rache Glock!
R.Glock: WANKER! LET ME KILL YOU ALREADY! Count Akumla: No. Would the Flyers sit back and let another team win?!
Count Akumla: Lies. RAWR! *Bites Glock*
R.Glock: AAH! Owww… Owww that hurt… Just ow. SSS OWW! My gosh… I feel lightheaded. *Falls over dead*
-Count Akumla directs his green/red/brown eyes at Wane-
Count Akumla: Let this be a lesson. Stop trying to find a way to stop me.
Wane: How in the hell did you know? By the way, what color are your eyes?
-Count Akumla runs and begins climbing the building to leave quickly-
Volcano: Let’s go inside before he comes back and kills us too. >_>
Wane: How do you do that?
Volcano: Do what? <_<
Wane: Yeah, that.
Volcano: I don’t know. Just… >_>
Wane: Q_Q Uhh… ~_~
Volcano: No, no. Like this: >_>
Wane: C_C Dang it. That’s so hard to do.
Act V: Confronting Old KyrEdit
-Count Akumla is now looking at his cape in the mirror as he practices showing his fangs to better frighten people-
Count Akumla: Eh, this is pretty good. I’m hungry.
-R.Glock breaks down the door-
R.Glock: Not so fast!
Count Akumla: Oh good, lunch. RAWR—
-Wane and Volcano break through the glass at the other end of the room-
Wane: Wane and Wallcano reporting!
Count Akumla: And there’s seconds!
-Detectives Justin and Jamie drive through the wall in a car they don’t necessarily own-
Jamie: Sup nobs.
Count Akumla: Surrounded I see? Well I’ll just—
-Viking crashes through the ceiling, followed by Olaf who is trying to kill him to gain his powers-
Viking: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEE! (Very realistic)
-Olaf and the Viking engage in epic hand-to-hand combat, making use of Nordic swords-
Olaf: You are no match for me!! Ayeeee!!
-As Olaf screams, Glock runs over and tackles Count Akumla to the floor. Akumla quickly pushes him away, and Glock hits the wall-
-Jamie and Justin begin making messes in the corner in a very official manner-
-Wane and Volcano run over to the place where Glock and Akumla are fighting, and as they do so Glock pulls out his Glock-
R.Glock: Time to die. Cheerio!
-At lightning speed, Akumla runs up to Glock and knocks the Glock right out of his hands-
R.Glock: How dare you Akumla.
Count Akumla: RAWR! Time to die yourself. *Bites Glock*
-Just then, Wane trips on Volcano’s untied shoe and stabs Akumla in the leg with the Roflknife-
Count Akumla: AAAAAGGHHH! *Hits the Roflknife out of Wane’s hand and begins to make his escape somehow*
-The Viking crashes right next to Wane, who starts screaming-
Olaf: I won.
Glock: Wonka bars… *Dies*
Justin: Well, the job is done.
Wane: They got away, and you guys did nothing.
TO BE CONTINUED…